Walking through the Kroger not too far from my house on Monday morning with the two girls, I started to feel faint. “What is wrong with me” I wondered but tried to ignore it. Pushing the cart and placing my items in one after another felt like moving tree trunks from the ground into a far off pit. I tried to stay calm. Rested a moment and acted like everything was cool. Finally it over took me so I called my husband who was at work. I told him the situation and we hung up. I thought I could finish my shopping and simply go home before my current feelings got any worse. I struggled to finish shopping but couldn’t make it home. I called my husband again who called his father to pick me and the girls up.

My father-in-law came rather quickly and by the time he did so I was feeling BAD.
He wanted to take me to the emergency room but I was skeptical… ” I’ll just rest a while, it’s probably nothing.” He took us to his house, not very far from ours and I rested. Called a couple doctors and described my situation. No one knew. By this time I started getting harsh and nearly unbearable pains in my abdomen. I finally decided that it was time to go to the hospital when my pains were severe.

My father-in-law took me, along with Tahira (baby). Zahra stayed home with his wife and we were off. After arriving the pains were worse than severe. I was getting afraid. I couldn’t manage this pain anymore. In the hospital bed I screamed in pain and agony. The nurse came in and gave me six mg of morphine. My body felt tired, a little comfy even, but the pain… The pain was still there.

My husband and father-in-law came into the room at this point and I was still in tears needing more pain medicine. Finally another nurse (male) came in and gave me six more mg. That did the trick. Alhumdulillah it was gone.. for the most part.

I was there for some hours and they ran tests. Blood, urine.. Nothing came up nothing was wrong. So finally an ultrasound was administered. But still nothing.

I went home that night with a prescription for the pain but no answers.

The doctor in the emergency room thought it might have something to do with my gal bladder and suggested I contact my doctor and have her have a look see and make an appointment to have a hide scan. (Drink dye and then they see the inside of you clearly… like an x-ray) According to him, some mothers after childbirth will have problems with their gal bladders.

*interesting. never heard of that*

I call my doctor the next day and have an appointment set up for the day after. She tells me to call a number and schedule the scan with them at another hospital. Her office doesn’t have that type of equipment.

The appointment day arrives and my father-in-law takes myself and Tahira to the doctors. Zahra was dropped off at my sister’s.

Basically my doctor didn’t know. She called the hospital for me to have a CAT Scan RIGHT AWAY. She told me if the scan was clear then it might have something to do with acid reflux. (Some acid reflux can get so bad that the pain feels like a heart attack)

I get to the hospital and my husband arrived right before his dad and I. I get settled in and my mother-in-law comes to pick up Tahira… We are all a little uneasy about the situation, but not too many words or fear or sadness are spoken. It’s in Allah’s hands whatever the situation may be. Anyway, I am told to drink some disgusting dye… Two rather large cups of it. Drinking it will illuminate my abdomen and back and more, but doing so will make me unable to nurse for two days… *tear*

I drink this stuff and about three hours later get called in to have the scan done. It takes about 15 mins. which is cool. I went in and got hooked up to an Iv that will poor into my vain some …stuff… that will activate the die inside of my system… COOL

Well I lay ‘inside’ the machine and they start to give me this ….stuff…. and OMG my head is on fire.

It pours some very worm feeling from my head all the way down to the tips of my toes!! then after that you taste a disgusting copper in the back of your throat… The most crazy thing I was warned of was the sensation of peeing on yourself…. CRAZY but oh so true.

“You will feel like you are peeing you’re pants, but don’t worry, you’re not”

I laughed at the thought, and was surprised at the feeling. I really thought I mean it really felt like I was peeing on myself… How strange a thing to experience.

Anyway, my doctor didn’t want me to leave the hospital until I had the results and she was informed and then I spoke to her. About an hour after the scan she called the x-ray room my husband myself and my mother-in-law with my daughter were waiting in. It was about eight O’clock at this point.

” Your scan was pretty much normal… kinda, well you have a hernia”

“A HERNIA.”

“Not a bad one, it’s pretty small. And it’s not ruptured or anything….”

So there you have it… I was shocked, yet relieved that it was nothing more serious. A hernia… from labor… Something about my muscles and yada yada. Can you believe it. I can’t..

..But.. ALLAH IS MOST MERCIFUL.

As you can see I’m doing a little soem soem to my site so let’s see how it turns out… I’m very new to all this

MAYA ANGELOU’S

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
one old love she can imagine going back to…
and one who reminds her how far she has come…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE….
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE….
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of
her dreams
wants to see her in an hour…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE….
a youth she’s content to leave behind….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…..
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it
in her old age….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE……
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…..
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who
lets her cry…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…..
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by
anyone else
in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…..
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe
for a meal that will make her guests feel honored…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE….
a feeling of control over her destiny…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its
over…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t
take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

Ok so the comments work now. I updated the version of word press I have and Alhamdulillah it fixed the problem.

look at this

For those of you trying to comment on this blog, something is wrong with this comments feature and I’ve gotta fix it. Well… my husband (smile).

You know, I don’t know what is more wonderful than finally realizing your little baby is growing up. Today was a nice day, the snow fell lightly on the ground outside and today was family day, watching movies and spending time together. While we did this, little did we know our three year old was growing up before our very eyes.

Running in from the kitchen where she was eating popcorn and playing ‘Frozen Bubble’ on the computer.

“Mommy I gotta poopie!”

I, of course, thought that she already did so and checked her… she was dry and clean.

“Run, go to the potty”

She did so and went and did her business!!

After we did the bathroom ritual she jump up and said

“Cause I want to be a big kid that’s why!”

I could have cried.
The first of very large steps huh

As some of you may well know, before the newiest member to our family was born Zahra was doing pretty well at the potty. Telling me when she had to go and things of this nature. After the birth of our lovely new baby girl, Zahra said to me in her actions , ” All bets are off!” Well, she is three years old and I’m getting anciouse.

Alhamdulillah she has only been three for about three months and we are getting some where finally. She has stopped telling me she has to go pee pee. But I’m getting her on the potty in time… usually. Today she only had two accidents all day and that is wonderful. Two of the like five or so times she went potty she did on her own with no help or ‘permission’ from me. Alhamdulillah.

It truly is a hard thing to potty train. It’s like you just want to give up but you know you can’t. I know that if Tahira wasn’t born just yet Zahra would be potty trained, Allahu’Alum (God knows best)… and it just trips me out how adament she is at NOT going.

I figured that Zahra needed to see some kids her age an older going to the potty, you know being big kids. So I bought a dvd called ‘Potty Power’ it is an interesting little thing. But she likes it. I was hopeing that she would ask to watch it over and over as she does with the dvd’s she likes and Alhamdulillah she did. And she watches it all the time. The little songs are catchy and she sings them while on the potty.

One important point that this dvd helped with was the fact that Zahra would hold her pee all day and then pee on her self. Then when she did go to the toilet she would just sit there not do anything and then get up. Well, on the dvd, they have a song ” what do you like to do when you’re sitting on the potty, when you’re sitting on the potty for a while. There are lots of things to do, that will make you happy too, sitting on the potty.” Well it is soo cute and I sing it to her to keep her on it.

Also they tell the kids that it will take them along time to pee pee when they sit on the potty some times, but it’s ok and just play with some toys or read a book etc. And all of this is in a song so it’s catchy. So now she sits on the potty and plays with some toys and she does her duty man and it’s all GOOD! Alhamdulillah.

Another interesting thing is that she use to use the toilet with a potty seat on top you know. But on the dvd the kids use actual potty chairs and they’re all like ” this is MY potty chair, this is MY potty chair.” So she ran into the bathroom cabinet where her potty chair was and pulled it out, ran to the tv and said “This is MY potty chair”. So now she uses HER potty chair. LOL

She also doesn’t wear pull-ups anymore. And it is just so cute and funny how her clothes fit now. She use to have this big badonkadonk back there, but little did we know, it was all pull up LOL. Now she can barley keep her little pants on LOL.

Oh man, is she growing up! I have a three year old… that is just so strange and crazy to think, let alone say! But what a blessing it is. When she is not tearing up my house, jumping off the walls, getting smart and talking out the side of her neck like some grown teenage child that needs their body beat down with something real hard real good……. She is just the sweetest little body of bones any momma could ask for.

Takes me through an emotional rollacoaster I tell ya. One moment I’m praying to Allah to keep myself straight and under control so as to not treat her in a bad way. And make sure I understand she is testing me, or that she is trying out her individuality… And the other minute I’m thanking Him for such a child. A beautiful incredibly creative talented intelligent imaginative sensitive and sweet package of baby love He blessed us with….

Speaking of sweet packages of baby love. Tahira is growing up so fast Masha’Allah. I mean she is only three months Subhanna’Allah and she is just doing all kinds of stuff. And the two little girlies are just the best of friends… When Zahra’s not trying to beat her down and smother her. I just look at her and.. Subhanna’Allah (Praise God) I fall in love. She looks just like Zahra too!! Just like her. Her little gummy mouth. LOL She is sleeping very well now Allahu’Akbar! Through the night most nights. Some times she is all wake wake but not often. And now she is trying her darndiest to set up ! SET UP GIRL lol

I’m so happy I have these two adorable little bodies of baby love!!

OH MY GOSH… I’M GONNA HAVE TO POTTY TRAIN HER TOO!!!! NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Scene: Zahra sitting on the upstairs toilet.

Zahra: Mommy I want to get up.

Me: You have to pee pee in the potty first.

Zahra: Mommy I want to get up now…… (Speaking calmly but sternly)
Ok mommy, 1………2…………3……….4 Ok mommy go to time out.

Me: LOL sweetie, that is what mommy says to you when you are being bad. You don’t say that to mommy.

Zahra looks at me with a blank stare.

Anniversary

Looking at you from across the fire
the image of you I adore.
There.. the silence becomes my heart
as I face you and see my life through yours.

The wonders of what life we share
and the differences we must learn to understand.
The signature of happiness embedded into our souls
after these four years we’ve been one together.

What is marriage? As a child I could not grasp it,
could not see what made two people into one.
And yet now my heart cries for it, the mystery
is stunning and wonderful.

Through these lines I express to you
that which I see in the eyes of your daughters.
That which I see in the eyes of my own.
How wonderful you are. And how easy it is to see it.

It comes as it washes over us, how your Lord has blessed us.
How your Lord has wrapped us together as a family.
One I never could have imagined having before.
One I am so proud to call my own.

How could this be, that we are together?
And by the Grace of your Lord… we always will be.