Bismillah

You know, I’m not much of a current events writer. For good reason, I don’t like current events. But these current, current events are simply makeing me buckle to my needs with agony. Subhanna’Allah, what is the world comming to? A question many of us ask…. But what is the answer?

I am thankful to Allah for making me Muslim. For I don’t see how a person who is not, can see the true meaning of Justice, the fact that as horrible this world may become, there will come a time when it will just as wonderful as it is now horrible. Without Allah, without belief in what is true.. How does one truly come to this type of conclusion?

To me, it goes against reason to say that Allah will simply let us suffer and then one day we all die and nothing will happen after that. What would be the point? What would be the point of anything if that were true. I can see how so many people are depressed and angry with the world. Do whatever they want without thinking twice about it…

It is sad to not believe ….

I am going to, Insha’Allah, write some more of my book today. You can find the first few chapters on this site, just go to the ‘A Path To Travel’ page and there it is. I don’t think I’m going to put anymore of the book on line, I think this currently is enough. I may change my mind though. The book is copy righted so I’m not trippen off that, but I don’t know, the more of it I write the more of it I think I can write. And if all turns out well, and people like what’s on my web site they may just buy the book…. Check it out and tell me what you think?

10:40 PM and I’m thinking, why is that my heart goes in and out of deep love. Love with who? Why is it that I breath and notice in me the deep understanding that makes Him alive in my soul but then I ‘willfully’ take it away. As if it was truly something I never wanted in the first place… This thing we call truth, why do we run from it? This thing we call love, why are we afraid of it? Why do we come so far to pursue what we feel is right… only to stop short and not complete our task. Only to fall to our feet when the finish line looks at us in disappointment.

Is it hard??? Praying, Fasting, Zakat, Hajj…. What makes us see the difficulty in all things? What makes our eyes see right through the beneficial to the unduly difficult. Shaytan? Oh he just whispers… we can only blame him but so much… What in ourselves hates the beauty we so desperately yearn for… What in our being is afraid of what we have the potential to be. Why do I fear to love Him? Why am I afraid to Submit to Him…

What is this thing called happiness? and why is it so relative… What makes us happy? Doing what we feel like? Not having to answer to anyone or anything? Not being tied down to laws, regulations, guidelines… even if every part of these guidelines are that which benefits us…

Why do we seek to help our bodies and not our souls? Why can we ignore our heart and not our stomachs? What makes one thing have more wait over the other….

It it our week hearts, and strong desires… It is our week ambitions and strong desires… It is our week self controll and strong desires…

If this is true, then what makes our desires that which is pleasing to Allah? What makes these wants of ours to be that which Allah wants us to want… The Prophet wanted that which was please to his Lord… Our desires… how strange they can be… One day you desire only Allah, the next you simply want to watch the foot ball game… desire to simply sleep through Fajr. One day you feel empty… the next oblivious to the soul you neglect….

Are our minds so powerful that we can ignore our aces and pains that are stronger that what we can see with our eyes, taste with our tongues, and smell with our noises? If this is so… We should prays Allah that much more, He gave us such strong minds, such determination, that we can ignore, to a point, in our ownselves the need to worship Him…. Then we try and make up reasons for our emptyness. Make steps to be more ‘creative’ be more self aware, or have higher self esteem. Though these things are good and may help us in some ways…. they are not the answers, they are steps to help something that is not hurt. Oh Allah…. What other proof is there that you are truly prevalent in our world… That you create, destroy, love, and aid us.

Make us of the believers, make our wants, and desires be pleasing to You so that we wont spend so much time trying to curve our desires, but rather spend all of our time indulging in them…. Indulging in the desire to pray to You oh Allah.. Indulging in the desire to help our neighbors, indulging in the desire to read Your words, study your books and submit to You and Your Will…. How life would be in our favor if we listend to our TRUE desires… It’s simply as easy as that…. Isn’t it though

I had to pick up Zahra tonight for Tavis. He usually picks her up from his sisters house when I go to school. But he was unable to this time. I was supposed to pick her up from her aunts at 2:30 drop her off home, do my Arabic work, go back to class at 5. well, when I got to her aunts house no one was home. It was cool though, she couldn’t find her keys and was late picking up her son from school, and therefore late meeting me back at her house. So they didn’t come until 3:00. Well, Zahra didn’t want to leave because she just got out the car. she was running around the house with her cousins. Finally when I got her to come and put her shoes and everything on, it was about 3:20 we finally got home a 4 something and Zahra wouldn’t leave me alone long enough for me to finish my work. She just wanted me to hold her and love on her. Finally I just gave up, I can’t finish my work and make it to class on time so I decided to stop for a while and love up on the most important person of all… So… I’m skipping my Arabic class today!!

I am currently at IUPUI. Just left the UC ( University College) where I was sitting eating and doing my Arabic homework. Anyway, some people came up and sat with me, three girls. Two of them related. During our conversation I was informed that the eldest of the two related girls is 24, the other is 21. But get this, the eldest is the youngers GREAT aunt!!!! I can’t even sit here and figure that one out. LOL I thought… Interesting. The eldest girls sister is the younger girls grandmother…. I say, what a world. Masha’Allah.

We sat and laughed about it for some time, so I decided to tell you all about it. I currently am still out of class don’t go back until 1:15. Usually I have a class at 11am until 12:15 and then an hour break. Well today we didn’t have the 11am class, so I’ve just been chillen. Doing work and studying you know. Any way, Let me go get a Cappuccino.. French Vanilla!

Bismillah

Assalaamu’alaikum,

Dear all those who have commented on my posts:

8:52p.m. and I just found out that I had 21 comments waiting for me to approve! For some reason I wasn’t getting any emails telling me I had comments waiting for me. And only a couple comments would go through to my site. Very strange occurance. Also those of you who have posted comments whose blogs I didn’t link to, I just put them onto my blogroll.

I couldn’t belive it, ask my husband, I thought no one liked or read my blog lol. I feel loved. Thanks to all of you who have commented and Insha’Allah now that I know I have some readers I’ll post more for you to read…

Assalaamu’alaikum

If any of you have read my husbands post on his blog, you will assume that I was being absent minded last night. But you see, it was 8:30 at night and we had been lost for who knows how long. The post by my husband was just a way to place the blame on his innocent wife!!!!!!! LOL.

Last night was wonderful though. We went out, like he said, to a beautiful Turkish resturant. I love this place, I want to go back as soon as possible. Masha’Allah, what a wonderful year… now we’re working on the next one.

Well, ALLAH has blessed us with another year to be together lovingly and happily. Masha’Allah yesterday was my three year anniversary. Three years married to my wonderful husband. I was at school all day until 8:30PM so needless to say we didn’t do anything lastnight. But tonight is the night and Insha’Allah it will be WONDERFUL. I’ll tell you all about it later on God willing.

Zahra is currently in the tub. Don’t worry, I’m right here with her. We are getting ready to go to ISNA. My Anthropology class is taking a ‘field trip’ there to learn more about the cultures and religions of the middle east. Yes, today is Jumma, and there fore, we are meeting there at 12:30 and staying until after Jummah. Well my little one has to take this trip with me today. Today is one of my days off, no school no anything, and therefore, it’s the day that Zahra and I get together. Anyway, I couldn’t tell her that she couldn’t be with her mom today because of this trip. So Insha’Allah she’ll be good.

My professor, who is my former Arabic teacher from last semester, informed me that it will be fine to bring her along. So Alhamdulillah. This professor is very nice, Masha’Allah. And is from Egypt. I didn’t know this before but she has a PHD in Islamic Economics I belive. I for one think that is wonderful and amazing. Anyway, let me go get what I’m wearing today. Oh yea, one my classmates asked me to bring a hijab for her to wear at the mosque. I thought that was wonderful, so I’m bringing two actually. You underscarf plus over scarf. She was like, but you have to put it on me. I was like ok, cool… INsha’Allah Allah guides her, and the rest of them, to Islam. Ameen!

….. The super bowl sucked!

Late night again. Not as late as the other night though, seems though that I am just as tired. Just came home from class and wanted to say hi to you all. I pray all of my readers are doing well, and have a good night Insha’Allah.

Assalaamu’alaikum,