12:07A.M and the night seems to whisper a soft lullaby to drift her into an unwanted sleep. She traces the scene of the room in which she sits chilled by the cool air that seems also to soothe her to comfort. An unwanted ache lingers in her back as she types nothing on the computer, peering into the face of the blank screen searching for words to express. The keys echoing into the empty place as she sites alone in disturbing silence. The kitchen light is dim, her eyes squint and blur from the lack of lighting and harsh rays of the computer. Reason would say for her to turn on a better light, but laziness calms her to deal with the unsatisfying glare drifting into the living room. She sits on her stool wrapt in a blanket that barely warms her tiredly glancing at the mess of a counter she leans upon: books, papers, bottles of water, and toys from the earlier portion of the evening stain the surface. “ In the morning” She murmurs through tired lips and crackling joints. Unable to ignore the nights whispers, she folds the lid to her lap top to hear the snap of completion, the only task of the day she completed successfully yet the unwritten paper snugged deep within the fragments of mind still awoke in the computer would tell other wise. She stands to the sounds of her bones rattling… or is it the empty growls of hunger nestled within her stomach, all sounds the same to her absent mind. The carpet warms her chilled toes as she sinks them into the loving fur, each step away from the seat she made her home for the last hours of timeless night calls her to finish her paper… “ In the morning” she murmurs.

The glare of brown from the sofa is taunted with pink from her garment she refuses to recover and place back inside her room. She stars at it, then to the long walk to the stairs next to the entrance of her home. She peers once more at the garment, seems so comfortable in its spot nestled within the creases of the sofa. “In the morning” she murmurs. She walks a few steps to the second of the two bookshelves along the wall of the living room and attempts to slide a book from her hand onto the empty spot calling for the book. Her imagination would tell her that her hand is moving… but reality exclaims that she is only dreaming… she retreats to lay it down on the lazy boy glowing brown under the dim light. “In the morning” she murmurs. She walks over into the kitchen leaving the warmth of carpet to stand on the hard tile of the kitchen. The mess stars at her like an unfinished job wanted to be completed… she stands wanting to escape her exhaustion and leans over to remove an empty bottle from the cluttered counter, yet before her hand reaches the loose top of the bottle… she retires her arm to her side. “In the morning” she murmurs.

Along the way to the light switch she catches the sight of unwashed dishes in the sink and reaches over them to pause at the switch… Nothing would make her feel more accomplished than to wash the lingered few dishes she neglected… “In the morning” she murmurs as she flicks the switch to the off position. Through the large window above the toy box laying cosily against the first of the two bookshelves of the living room wall, she hears the night ending it’s song and whispers to her one more soothing “goodnight”. The sound brings to her lined and tired face a smile and all cares drift away… When will she think of them again she wonders… “In the morning” she murmurs.

-By Taubah Blackman-

Bismillah

This morning on Muslim Message there was a topic about being extreme on one side or the other. Extreme basicly on one side of Islamic law and extreme on the other side. The discussion got into Imam Al-Ghazali and how he differers from other scholar. The discussion also evolved around seeking knowledge and learning and theology. This is what I said in response;

Bismillah
Assalaamu’alaikum,

I believe the difference between Imam Al-Ghazali and many other scholars and deep thinkers, is his yearning for the truth and the way to seek closeness to Allah in what ever way available. True knowledge and true satisfaction. Imam Al-Ghazali traveled many places and studied many things but he was not satisfied until he reached the world of the Sufi. He went through and studied in depth the many other professions and theologies and was not satisfied with their outcome.

Many people are not like this, one may find that they travel from one scholar to the next simply trying to find a person to condone their actions and desires. Not to find what is Halal, there for many people end up not looking for answers at all and decide to go upon their own opinion.

This is when opinion is dangerous for opinion can never be taken as fiqh. If one person speaks to another on an issue that is not halal wal haram, and has not already been answered by one more knowlegable whether in the past or present time, then opinion may be accepted but not as fact but as speculation. Speculation until the time one can study the topic and after true deliberation, form a conclusion. But the mistake many people make is that instead of truly seeking the truth, whether it be from a living scholar, or from a book, they like to act without knowledge. They say that these scholars are not important and following them is blind. And yet choosing to follow themselves in an issue of fiqh seems very blind to me.

Seeking knowledge is the obligating of every Muslim man and woman. Seeking knowedge does not simply mean asking the person next to you if it is haram to wear high heals. But reading and attempting to understand Allah’s words and laws. In areas of fiqh there is no room for speculation and guess work, I for one have to find a scholar I trust and is knowledgable and able to guide me in a way that will not send me to hell fire. Why risk Paradise on lack of ambition, or laziness. There are so many other sins that can be committed knowingly to add that which you do not care to findout. Ignorance is not bless, especially when you are being judged on your actions. And yes intentions as well. Many may say ‘yeah but if I don’t know then I can’t be punished for it’ but if you do not know but use that excuse to not find out… yes you will be-and Allah knows best.

Assalaamu’alaikum,

Taubah