Bismillah

I’ve been kinda wondering what to do come August when I start school Insha’Allah. A few people from my job will not be returning in next year, or when school start back rather, including the sister who I assist. I was thinking that if she doesn’t come back then I may not have a job which means that Zahra wont have any where to be when I start school.

So I’ve been looking around trying to find different daycares run by Muslims, the few that I found either were no longer in service or Zahra is too young for. I called the child care service at IUPUI put that is 175 dollars a week! A lot of money, and Zahra is too young for that as well. She will be 20 months Insha’Allah when I start school or almost 20 months but she has to be 2 years to be inrolled at the IUPUI child care. But that place is very nice, it is truly worth every cent by the looks of things. I haven’t spoken to anyone who sends their childrean there but from the website it looks good.

Any way so my husband said that even if the teacher I assist doesn’t return another teacher who takes her place will still need assists most likely. So that makes since. See, I only currently assist this teacher for two hours, from 12 to 2 in the afternoon. In the morning I work in the daycare from 8 to 12. Come August I can only work that small space of 12 to 2 because I want to go to school during the day. And if I’m working there Zahra can stay there during the day while I am at school. After school I go to work for two hours and then take Zahra home with me. See the daycare there is only for the teachers and staff who there.

I was thinking if my last class was at 12 then I could maybe change my working hours to 2 to 4pm, and from 12 to 2 I can do the homework I have to do or studying I need to do before going to work… Sounds good to me.

What do you think?

Bismillah

It seems strange sometimes. My state of being, my state of mind. How do you choose your path and stay on it until the end of your ride? Confused I fell sometimes. Not about my deen, but about myself. Who am I? Why am I here? Such questions are asked in general about life, but for that question I have the answer when asked about this life. we are to Worship Allah, Praise Him, do as we are told by Him. But my question which I neglect to believe I have, flows deeper… much deeper… In this unseen world, and this earth and space, the vastness of Allah’s creations. The stories of the universe and all the galaxies, where do I fit in? Oh this question sounds so selfish, so one sided and shallow. A yearning that calls each and every one of us to tell us our place in this unseen sight of our lives whether we choose to listen or not. In what way am I to Praise Him? I am stuck in this world as I am seen. And I turn the pages of my books wondering what will happen next. I want to praise Him in a way that no one else has or can. I want Him to see me and me proud of me… I yearn to please Him like the Prophet… like Ahlul bayt. Like all the saints and friends of Allah I want to be up with them. I want my family to set among them and have tea and speak of the love that pours down from Allah upon us. I want to feel Him I want to love Him but most of all I want Him to love me. Not because He created me, not because I am Muslim and that I try in His way, but because I have something that no one else does and that I use that gift, that Neima that He gave me and use it to turn others to Him. Not simply for good, not simply to make others Muslim, but to bring that light, that empowering love that burns inside me to others for the ONE GOD.For Allah……

Oh, but it goes away… It leaves me and I stand wondering why and how it left me. That feeling, that love that yearning for Him. Not just for Him but to please Him, to please Him in a way that no one else can. Why does it leave me… And I fall to be ordinary and shallow. I fall to be won over by this world and this life and the small glitters that I see. Oh my dear Prophet Allah choose you over others. Allah guided you, why? Because of your love of Him? Because of your love for others? Your compassion? Because of your heart? Your shyness? Because of you righteousness? Because of you actions and you words? How do I become like you? How do I teach my children to become like you? How do I praise Him? How do I always remember Him? Not simply on occasion, not when things are going wrong, not when I am happy, not when my world is in a state of misunderstanding to me, but all of my life? Teach me Ya Allah, so that I may learn how to be like those you love, like those who love you, teach me teach my husband and family and friends to be like those you love, and who love you not for you rewards but for your love, because you are so lovable. So special and unique… So Great…

Teach me to listen and act upon you teachings…………
This is my place.

Bismillah

Assalaamu’alaikum,

Alhamdulillah, We recieved our lap top today, it came at 7am this morning and of course no one was home. Because of this my husband went out to pick it up from Fedex after work. It is very nice;
silver, 15″ high resalution TFT screen,

has an intel pentium M processor 1.3 GHZ.

Built in dvd+CD-RW or dvd burner combo drive.

Intel Centrino Technology - 802.11b wireless.

40 GB or hard drive

and 1 inch thin!

check it out

http://www.averatec.com/archives/5110series.htm

Bismillah

Assalaamu’alaikum,

You’ll never guess what my daughter (Zahra) has said for her new word. Vegetable, can you believe it? Isn’t it simply strange, such a big word for a little body, Alhamdulillah, she is just growing non-stop. Zahra is now almost 16 months, so I guess that makes her 1 in a half soon Insha’Allah. She is growing up so quickly Masha’Allah. I wish my dollars in the bank would do the same, I am attempting to save money for a car as I told you before but it seems to be going so slowly. Alhamdulillah Allah is the controller of all. My husband and I are also investing money into a lap top. It is pretty expensive but very nice. He has already ordered it we went half and half so it doesn’t seem as expensive. This lap top will Insha’Allah be very useful for us both. Especially because I start school Insha’Allah in August and I may need to use it when I can’t get home ya know. I’m exited, Allah is Great!!