I use to write so much when I was a child, a young person afraid of my life and my world. My feelings were all scrambled and left me with an emptiness that I thought nothing would fill. I needed Him and I didn’t even now it, it scares me how I can hold on to Him with my soul and yet lose gripe from time to time. That’s the way it works though, no one is perfect. That’s what makes the Prophet so wonderful, he was. Trying to follow him in every way possible makes you like him. Makes you understand Islam and Allah that much more because he did, reading the hadiths and the stories of his life captures me. I remember when I didn’t know much about our beloved Prophet and I couldn’t really say that I loved him. I mean I am the type of person that can’t love someone just because. Not really feel for them unless I can see something in them that touches my heart. My mother told me to read about him and maybe that will change, so I did. Eventually… But As I read through the books of hadith my purpose was not to research our Prophet to love him. I just wanted to read some hadith, but I fell in love with him. His kindness and compassion and his knowledge was amazing. I became saddened that he suffered so much and had such a burden on him. May Allah reward our Prophet and his progeny! Ameen

I am wondering about the time after my daughter has teeth and when she’ll be able to walk and talk. Right now it’s crazy because I don’t know what she wants and she can’t tell me. She is teething and it’s driving me insane. I mean not all ways but at times she gets to me. I never thought that it would be so wonderful to have her. She is more wonderful than words can describe even when she is screaming all day in my ear. I guess that’s what being a mother is about. She is 2 months and getting older ever second. She has this little personalty now, looks at you crazy when you don’t do what she wants right then. She’s a sweat heart so far. I pray that she stays that way. Most likely she wont, for a time anyway. It will probably be hard to raise her sense I am so young and she is my first, but Insha’Allah Allah will guide my husband and I. Islam is the most important thing I want to teach her, I want to understand so that I can explain it all to her. Never did education mean so much to me until now. Before I wanted to learn and study Islam and teach and have knowledge and grow myself while helping others to do the same. I wanted to please Allah and learn His religion. But now my heart yearns for it even more. My soul whispers its wants of it and I am needing it more and more, every time I watch her and see her smile. Every time she cries and her tears drip on her cheeks, I want her heart to be filled with love for her Creator. And I want to show her all that He has created. I want so much for her…