Just came home from group not too long ago… always makes me sad… sad being inside of the building, driving up to the building, walking into the building, sitting on the sofa in the building, and seeing the looks on the other womens faces… it all seems so real when I’m there… the pain so deep and the issues so……………………………………… embedded… is that normal??? who knows

It has been a nice while, and the sun has come all the way back around to mark the beginning of the first days of school.
I am starting back my mission to update my website everyday to keep you all on the up and up with my life.
if you don’t know, which most likely you don’t. I’ve been undergoing some serious drama, which pretty much start
fromt time of my last post….. hmmmm ….. intrigued yet… maybe we’ll seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

MWAH!

A full weekend this has been indeed. My niece came to stay the night with me Friday and her and my daughter had a wonderful time. The next day, Saturday, I received a call from my cousin and the news was that she was in labor at the hospital. Her two girls needed a place to stay while she had the baby, I picked them up that morning at nine or so. They are still here.

It is nice to have them here because I haven’t seen them in a while, and they are two very special girls. I use to spoil the oldest of the two when she was a baby. I gave her everything and anything she wanted and I had. This was years ago back in Philadelphia. She was my world back then, the only baby I was close to, and the only person who really seemed to depend and love me dearly. Children grow up so fast. Now, all these years later, she is so much older and so mature.

My neice went back home last night and now I’m waiting for these two little ones to be on their way (smile) so my world can go back to normal.

Today I have a website to complete and turn the url into my professor by midnight, and an essay to start and turn in tomorrow midnight. sounds like it will be a nice rest of the weekend and busy week.

I recieved an email from a sister that I’ve known for some time today. She sent me one that seemed to say she wants to get to know me better. I think that is wonderful, I’ve always admired her. She has a lot going for her, a beautiful African American Muslimah who has been married for years. Who gave birth to two boys (years ago) and is in very good shape and is working on her second degree. I love to see African American Muslimah’s being successful in this life while attempting to prepare for the hereafter as well.

Of course no person, who is not blessed in that way, can see inside of another person. But from where I’m standing she seems to be a good sister. May Allah bless her and her family.

~and I shall take my leave~

Who would have thought that giving your child more love and attention than most would be cause for displeasure? Maybe it is better to be sociable than to be educated? Is that all we want for our children in this day in age?

“Subhanna’Allah Taubah, what makes you say that”

Good question.

I have come to the decision to home school. I came to the decision a few weeks ago with feelings of apprehension. A person like myself who has had negative issues with education and learning, attempting to teach someone else. But despite my reservations I have found great pleasure in the ordeal.

My excitement about taking my three year old out of her social environment and holding her shackled to the ever boring presence of her mother and younger sister, came about when I was displeased with the teaching method of her school.

Without being too detailed I’ll mention that Zahra was bored at school. Maybe not bored when it was time to play. But bored when it was time to work, and for preschool there should not be a separation.

Maybe it’s simply my own lack of ability to sit still and listen to lectures, or the ache over the agonizing torture of sitting for hours doing school work that I get, but children must learn through play. That’s my motto and maybe I thought that was everyone’s motto. Heck I think everyone should learn through play, why not??

Apparently her school was not of this same thought process, and had Zahra learning in a way that was not conducive to her creative and adventurous personality. They would tell me things like

” well she is just going to be behind because she doesn’t want to do the work.”

Seemed to me like they were giving up on a child of the age of three who had only been in school for less then three weeks. And it was the first three weeks of her life that she had ever been in a formal school.

So as a result, I pulled her out of school and decided I’d give it a go at home. And I did, and I have, and it’s great. I’ve only had her with me for about two active weeks of home schooling out of about three weeks of her being out of school.

The first week she was home I broke down Tahira’s crib from her room and placed it into Zahra’s. I moved all of Tahira’s things into Zahra’s room and set them up very nicely. Then I took all the toys in the house and from Zahra’s room and her toy boxes and set them up in Tahira’s old room. The girls were so happy to be together sharing a room. And now they have an entire room for play called… you got it, The Play Room.

I went online to toysrus.com and went crazy buying up everything for preschool. Puzzles, books, dvds, games, painting utensils, smocks, an easel. Also I bought comprehensive learning books to do exercises with her to build her comprehensive development, motor skills, and such. The list goes on. Along with that I bought things to decorate the room to look like a preschool class room. Such as a nice big and cute pink table from target. This table is very nice and is big enough for four kids. It is pink and white with an easel square in the middle, and different colored tin bucks on all four corners of the square table ( one in each corner). I got it for crafts pre-reading, pre-writing work etc.. And a foam puzzle alphabet rug, and she has a computer and electronic leap pads and books.

I’ve set up the play room just for the girls and it looks wonderful.

The best part of it all is that Zahra has been learning and learning fast. Before she started school she already knew her numbers up to ten and her colors, shapes, her alphabet and these things. Since she has been home from school she has learned recognition of a number of her alphabet.

Something they were attempting to teach her at her former school by making her sit down and write out the alphabet, and then do it for home work every night.. well it didn’t work because she still didn’t know ‘A’ from ‘E’ and when I took her out of that school they were supposedly already learning ‘F’.

To make a long story short, there are those who do not agree with the decision I have made. My husband loves it and supports me completely Alhamdulillah. But there are others who believe pre-school should be taught … in school. Not because it is better for her education, but better for her socialization.

Yes, I understand that a child of the age of three needs to be around other children of that very age. And as a parent and one who is attempting to replace one thing with another I would naturally supply such things to her. It almost seems that these people believe that I am not an adequate mother. That simple things like children need friends are not something that my small mind and lack of parenting skills would muster up.

We go to the Children’s Museum or the Zoo every Tuesdays. And every Wensdays and Thursdays we go to story time at the Library. And what is really cool is that, get this, there are other parents with kids who they home school too, and we get together on Mondays or will be getting together Insha’Allah. And Zahra goes to gymnastics. and will be going to TaeKwondo Insha’Allah. I think she will have plenty of opportunities to see other kids and she will make friends…

But to me, she should learn, and learning is what I am trying to help her do. These are the foundations of her educational life, I’d like for her to start it off on the right foot.

And Allah knows best.

It seems like every other person striving to be a writer actually writes.
Me, on the other hand, I seem to do that less and less as the years go by.
Of course I don’t mean writing for my English classes. I mean the writing that I enjoy doing,
or need to do for practice to be a better writer.
Seems I have nothing to talk about,
yet there is always so much going on in my life.

Maybe I think my days are not as aw provoking as others.
Being a mother a wife and a student.
Trying to build my writing portfolio and get my degree
and maybe even make some dollars being a best selling author??.
(right.. I’d have to write for that.)

Well, what ever the reasons in the past, I plan to write once a day for now on.
My blog has gotten lonely and I have resolved to give it a bit of company,
make it a bit interesting and collect a few readers yes…???

I want one day to be all that I am trying to be…
Guess I gotta actually start moving in order to get to my destination.

I know, it’s been forever. So much has been up. My husband goes back to work in a couple dayz Insha’Allah **tear** And Zahra has been enjoying camp, she goes to Princess camp on Monday Insha’Allah. Then it’s just Tahira and I at home chillen and doing all the things we’ve dreamed of doing together. I’ve had to do so many different things for financial aid this semester. But I believe all is taken care of now. That means that I’ll be joining once again the ranks of the educated and will God willing have one more year of my undergrad to go. Pray for me please.

So my shoulder and neck are feeling a lot better. I’m no longer rockin the sling much nowadays but I still have much pain and my shoulder is very stiff.

In other news,,,, Today is Zahra’s first day of summer camp!!!! How cute is that. I’m gonna post some pics from her getting ready this morning I want to take some more tomorrow on our way and take pics of the building and stuff!! YAY.

It’s cool it’s gymnastics camp this week and every week is a different kind of camp at the same place. It is at the Geist Sports Academy for the NO- Bummer Summer!! It looks really nice and is way cool. She was so excited today Masha’Allah my little cutie is growing up!!!! We dropped her off this morning at 8:30am and her pick up time is 1:00pm. So interesting her being gone for five hours, my husband is home for summer brake so we’re having a nice little time. My Tahira is still here and I’m still babysitting my niece until tomorrow too so we aren’t completely alone but it’s all good. It’s amazing how quite it is without her here LOL!

Awwwwww They just grow up so FAST!!

This morning my sister came over and brought her eightteen month old over. Today is the first day I am to watch her from 8am to 3:30pm and boy am I tired.
Hediyah, my sister, is doing an internship at the Children’s Museum (the best place in the world!!!!) and so I am watching Laila during those hours.

She misses her mom so much that every time she is not being entertained she starts screaming and runs to the front door to put her shoes on. This is my niece so it’s not like she doesn’t know me I’m just like aww don’t cry, mommy will be back later on. She is ok now pretty much. Poor thing knocked her self out crying like that and now she is in my bed sleeping dead to the world. And my kids just don’t quit down for the sake of a sleepy cousin, and she is out out out. LOL I’m happy Insha’Allah when she wakes up she will be ok, much better.

“Just another day sitting in my hood just another day around the way, feeling good today”

LOL, remember that song? I probably said it all wrong LOL
Nothing really going on today, just chillin. Except for one MAJOR thing

SHE CRAWLED, Tahira crawled, her first little crawl was today at 11:47am!!!!!!! Alhamdulillah
she is getting so old, I just can’t believe it..It was yesterday that I left the hospital room carrying her…. **tear**

… Not really anyway.

Spoke with my cousin for HOURS though. Haven’t done so in a long while so we caught up a LOT! Her daughter just had a little boy recently (I knew that) and he is doing very well. So happy to hear this *smile* His name is Amir so beautiful.

Oh but the other day… Saturday, myself, sister and mother went out to an Indian restaurant, India Palace. It was a late birthday present to my momma. We were supposed to go to breakfast at Cracker Barrel, I’ve never been before though. But Allah made it so that a problem would surface. I had to get sick with a pretty and heartfelt cold that knocked the stuffing out of me.

After which I became sick again with this Hernia thing-a-ma-thing. Never-the-less, We had a really good time Al-hamdulillah, but I was hurting again a little before we left.

Allah Is Most Merciful

Oh, and I just remembered, I missed a call today from an Huntsville Al, friend I’ve known for YEARS. Her and her people are going to be coming up next month Insha’Allah and I am so excited about this, I have to return her call today.

She has a son the same age as Zahra. He’s a few months older though. ONLY thing I hate is that I’m carrying all of this access weight from the baby. I know, I know…

“You just had a baby four months ago Taubah”

Yes but I can’t stop holding on to the feeling that I’m fat.

Not that I think she and her family are going to think something different about me, I’m just a little insecure about my look at the moment… It will, Insha’Allah, pass.

Oh well anyway, added some new blogroll links yesterday, some good ones too I might add..

Check it out..

*Peace*