Believe in Allah and Then Stand Firm

kuhI went to my orientation yesterday. It was cool. The funny part was, I had a bunch of stipulations that I told the manager about my uniform. I was like, yeah well see, I have to wear this scarf and I have to wear a long-sleeve shirt under my short-sleeve uniform shirt. And oh, I have to keep my shirt out of my pants… They just looked at me for a second, and I was like “Is that going to be a problem?” Of course not, right? I mean what are they going to do, fire me? I will take it to the courts, Suage!!! Oh for all those who don’t know, Suage is what I say when I mean I will sue someone. LOL.

The manager over the store, ( not the shift manager I mentioned in the other entry) was like, “Well let me find out for sure, but I don’t think it will be a problem.”
I was happy that I said something. It took a lot of praying during the orientation for me to get up the courage to mention my Islamic dress obligations. This, for me, is a big step. Maybe a lot of other sisters can easily say these things, but I am more used to just doing what the manager says and thinking about it later, being a punk, I guess. But ever since this whole “trying to be a better Muslimah” thing started over five years ago now, I have really changed in that way.

I remember my job at Ci Ci’s Pizza. I wore Hijab, but differently. You know, the bun in the back style. So, it didn’t look that “MUSLIM,” as how I wear it now. But I got up this courage after praying to Allah making dua’ that I would be able to do this. I went up to my Manager at Ci Ci’s pizza and told him that I would have to take out some time during my working period to pray. He just looked at me. I didn’t tell him this when he hired me for two reasons:
1.I didn’t stay at work for that long because I was part time.
2.And if I did end up staying there for long, I would just wait until I got home and make up the prayers.

Well, as I got more Allah conscious and obligation conscious. I decided that I had to make my prayers on time and that I couldn’t be intimidated by not being at home when it is time for prayer. “Allah is Greater,” I always told myself.
Well the manager, after giving a blank look, told me that it wouldn’t be a problem. He said that when I needed to pray, I could just tell him, and he will take over until I got back. Well, the true test of my loyalties came when it was actually time for me to pray. There were not many people coming to the store, but I was the only one at the front. I went to the back of the store and told this manager guy that I need to pray now. He just looked at me. This was a couple days after I had told him I will have to start praying, mind you. And he just looked at me and was like, “Well you need to go ahead and go back to your station because we have customers…” I looked at him, ready for my first Jihad and said “let me get this straight” (See I was nervous before in telling him I needed to pray, but when it seemed as if he wasn’t going to let me, my faith and irritation of people thinking crazy things about this religion started coming out.) I said , “Are you telling me you aren’t going to let me pray?” He looked and was like, “Wait, what did you ask me?” I was thinking, oh come on now. You are going to pretend that you didn’t hear what I said. I told him, “I said I need to go and pray now.” He was like, “Oh oh, go ahead.” I was thinking, thats right!

The funny part is that I went into where all the people are sitting and eating and talking and playing games and went into the bathroom. No, there was not an “employees only” bathroom. So I had to make wudhu right there and pray that no one would come in and see me with my feet in the sink. (At the time, I was Sunni, so I thought I had to literally ‘wash’ my feet.)
So, I continuously looked at the door which was right directly next to the sink. I wanted to lock it, but didn’t. After I finished making wudhu and was feeling like a true souljah of Islam, I walked out, got my coat, and went out the door.

Ci Ci’s pizza is the loudest restaurant full of kids and yelling you’ll ever witness. And there was no back area in which I could pray, so I went out the door wondering ‘what now?’ I stood out there and was like, ‘Allah I made the effort to pray, but please can You find me a place where I can pray to You?.’

Well, just then, I had an idea to walk around to pray in one of the stores in the little strip plaza. I went into the store called …. I can’t think of the name, but it was a furniture store, and small one. Like rooms express, or something like that. I went inside, and there was a women at the desk. She was like, “May I help you?” I was like, Bismillah. “Yes, I am a Muslim, and I work at the Ci Ci’s pizza a couple stores down and I need to pray, but there is nowhere for me to do so in that building. I was wondering if I could pray in here somewhere everyday between the times of such and such, and such and such.” Of course I actually told her the times. Well she was just like “ummm” and I was like oh no she is going to like call the police or something. But she smiled and was like, “Sure, go right ahead. Is it going to take long?” I was like no.

And every day I found a spot next to the little bedroom displays and prayed nice and peacefully. I was so happy and proud of myself. Sometimes, the store would have customers. I would come in, and the woman would be like go ahead, and I would go pray. Well the customers would go from one room display to the other looking at the products and sometimes see me pray.

They would be like “what is she doing? That is strange.” Or some people would say, “Wow that is wonderful!” It was strange. One day, I was just about to pray, and one of the workers came up to me full of tears. She looked at me and was like, “I know you don’t know me, and I don’t know if this is allowed in you religion but can you pray for me and my son?” She told me their situation and begged me to pray for them… I was like umm ok. I told her I would and I did. But that was the strangest thing. She looked at me as if she really thought my prayer counted for something… I was touched.

Doing things that Allah says to do, no matter what gets in my way, really increases my faith. And I feel like I am that much closer to Him… Maybe, one day, I will do something and keep doing it until the DAY He calls us to Him. Maybe, He will look at my family and myself and say I know you well, and I know you know me well. Come and enjoy paradise…. This is my hope. Insha’Allah, we will be known to Allah for Loving and obeying Him. Because, you know if you remember Allah in times of ease, He will remember you in times of hardness. Keep that in mind.

2 Responses to “Believe in Allah and Then Stand Firm”

  1. Ismaelle Says:

    Wow Taubah that was really inspirational. That reslly makes me feel that the obstacles i face on a daily basis is nothing compared to yours. I don’t think that I would have that courage or commitment, I dont have it now anyway. I am very proud of you.

  2. Taubah Says:

    We all face obstacles that help us step closer and closer to Allah. We may choose not to recongise this, but it is true. Alhamdulillah, thank you for your nice words. Insha’Allah Allah will give us all the strength to do more as believers. It is a struggle, one that seems to become greater the more you do. But commitment and faith wavers (as my mother always says) and Insha’Allah it will one day stand stronge for the both of us…

    Salaams

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.